Something worth loving is worth grieving.
I realized that after a short relationship several years ago. As with many important lessons, it was difficult. It came at a time when I was vulnerable and opening myself up to the arts I always wished to aspire to.
I had made friends and contacts which filled me both with a practice in the visual arts, an outlet for the literary while exploring physical and spiritual practices within the yoga studio. My heart felt full.
Then in several months, the support system and community I had surrounded myself with, slipped away.
It took time, time to heal and time to grow. My practice and my life went inward. Old addictions resurfaced as a means of escape and haunted my experiences. Finally, I chose to stop, with what felt like no direction to turn. There, in the shadows of the life I wished, came a moment to change direction.
As in so many stories and histories, it is there, in that moment of darkness, I chose to see. The monsters I feared appear as they are, shadows. The grieving and feeling of loss wasn’t lost, the brilliance of those feelings, that sharpness, adds a contrast to life and love.
In this grieving of love lost, i found a love for myself.